So This Is How It's Gonna Go Down... Probably.

Ok, we're just 2 days away from kick-off and it's about time some insufferable football know-it-all (me!) made a wise-ass prediction about how the World Cup will pan out. Like I mentioned in the previous post, whenever I make predictions about World Cup tournaments I ensure that in the end Argentina wins. So too here, but the rest of it is pretty un-biased and practical. Especially since the 2 of the other 3 teams I support didn't qualify (Turkey and Ireland. :'( ) and the United States are never gonna make it to the semi-finals of the World Cup for atleast another twenty years. Or whenever the USA next hosts it. So without further ado...

GROUP A
Teams: South Africa, Mexico, France, Uruguay
Qualifiers: South Africa, Mexico/France
Why? - This is a tough group to call. For me the only cert is that South Africa should go through. Why on earth? Because the host team has NEVER failed to make it past the group stage. Even in years when the world was sure the trend would be bucked, it didn't happen. USA qualified for the 1994 Round 2 with a crappy team and Japan and Korea both did it in 2002 (How Korea reached the effin' semis I'll never understand) So I'm pretty sure South Africa will qualify somehow. Rest of the group is tough to call. France would be the safer bet but they don't have a very good team for the tournament. Mexico are always a threat. Uruguay aren't half bad either but given that someone has to fuck up against the hosts I'd say it'd be them. So RSA for sure, and either MEX or FRA. In the long run it won't matter given they WILL lose in the quarters.

GROUP B
Teams: Argentina, South Korea, Nigeria, Greece
Qualifiers: Argentina, Nigeria
Why? - I don't think any one's stupid enough to ask me why Argentina. Even without a bias, you'd expect Argentina to trample their opponents. Argentina have been pitted in the group of death and have been given a pretty bad draw in the past 2 World Cups so this seems fair. There's absolutely NO WAY Argentina won't win this group. The rest is tricky. I have a feeling Nigeria will go through just because of the whole Africa jig. Africa havent had a good year since 1990 and I think it's their time to finally shine. I hate watching Greece play football and I really hope they lose all 3 matches. Admittedly its hard to pick between Nigeria & Korea but I'll go for the Super Eagles.

GROUP C
Teams: England, United States, Slovenia, Algeria
Qualifiers: England, USA
Why? - Pretty straightforard. England should win. US should finish 2nd. I dont think the other 2 are anywhere close to matching the former in talent and quality. Admittedly, both England and USA have reputations for screwing up but Slovenia and Algeria seem too weak on paper to cause an upset.

GROUP D
Teams: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana
Qualifiers: Germany, Ghana
Why? - Similar to Group B, Germany should win all 3 matches. I pick Ghana over the others again because of Africa, but I think both Australia and Serbia have an equally good chance. It's pretty tough to call this group actually.

GROUP E
Teams: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon
Qualifiers: Netherlands, Cameroon
Why? - I know I'm picking way too many African teams but I think Cameroon can beat Japan without any home advantage and home advantage can give them the extra boost to top Denmark. This group is similar to B and D again, Netherlands should have no troubles, and it'll be a dogfight between the others.

GROUP F
Teams: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia
Qualifiers: Italy, Paraguay/Slovakia
Why? - Gosh, this year's draw sucks. A whole bunch of crappy groups. Italy should top. Paraguay or Sloakia to follow. New Zealand to make up the numbers.

GROUP G
Teams: Brazil, Portugal, Cote D'Ivoire, North Korea
Qualifiers: Brazil, Portugal
Why? - Ah, the Group of Death! Cote D'Ivoire have landed in the toughest group for a 2nd consecutive world cup and it's harsh the best African side probably wont go through. Brazil should win the group and Portugal should follow, but by no means can you write off the others. Cote D'Ivoire as mentioned is the best team in Africa right now and you can never write off a team like that inside Africa. North Korea? No chance surely? Well, last time they played in a World Cup they beat Italy and squandered a 3-0 lead in the quarters against guess who... Portugal.

GROUP H
Teams: Spain, Switzerland, Chile, Honduras
Qualifiers: Spain, Switzerland
Why? - The 2 Europeans should have enough for Chile and Honduras Spain should win all 3 matches, Switzerland shouldnt have too much trouble either.

ROUND OF 16 
Mexico/France def. Nigeria
Nigerian luck should run out. Either one among France and Mexico outclasses the Africans.

England def. Ghana
Another African dream should end. England are playing very good football lately and Ghana are well... Ghana.

Argentina def. South Africa
Home advantage can get you so far. This is where the journey of the mediocre host teams end and so it should for South Africa.

Germany def. USA
As much as I hate to admit it, USA beating Germany sounds farfetched and shouldnt happen. On the flipside, I'd love to see Germany get its comeuppance for beating the Albiceleste back in 2006.

Netherlands def. Paraguay/Slovakia
 Simple prediction. No chance for Paraguay or Slovakia. The Dutch know not to be overconfident after the Russian defeat at Euro '08 so an upset is unlikely.

Brazil def. Switzerland
...

Italy def. Cameroon
An upset is possible but unlikely.

Spain def. Portugal
Set to be the match of the tournament atleast till that point. More evenly poised than Brazil v Portugal, this one is too tough to predict. I'd pick Spain just on current form and higher ranking and Euro momentum, but if it goes to the shootout and Ronaldo can find his last season's magic, Portugal could make it just as easily

QUARTERFINALS
Ah the fun starts!

England def. France/Mexico
Let's face it. France suck. They always have. They were lucky in 1998, and luckier in 2000 because Abel Xavier's a prick and the referee added extra time. I'm no England fan but I'd really like to see them kick France's ass just for screwing Ireland out of the World Cup. Even without a complete prejudice, England is definitely a much better team than France these days.
Oh and Mexico should lose to England too.

Brazil def. Netherlands
Should be a cracker. Both teams have great attacking flair, matched only by Argentina and to an extent, Spain and Portugal. I'd say Brazil goes through but only just.

Argentina def. Germany
Revenge is sweet. Argentina WILL win. Messi WILL fuck up those Nazi bastards.

Spain def. Italy
Like France, I think Italy were quite lucky in 2006. They had 1 good match (against the hosts) and faced mediocre opposition throughout the tournament, and got lucky in the shootout in the final. I don't see them beating Spain who are much better these days.

SEMIFINALS
Brazil def. England
Again, very close call. But Brazil have played a final on every continent so who's England to stop them? Personally I want England to win because they'd make easier opponents for you know who in the final but I guess that shows that Brazil will probably win.

Argentina def. Spain
Hey, Spain choke when most important matches come up, so this is valid.

FINAL
Argentina def. Brazil
VICTORY FOR THE ALBICELESTE!! IRONICALLY, ARGENTINA'S FIRST WORLD CUP WIN AFTER THE 1986 TRIUMPH SEES THE CAPTAIN OF THAT CAMPAIGN, THE INCOMPORABLE DIEGO MARADONA AS THE COACH OF THIS ONE!

And yes, that had to be all in caps!

Ok, so final call...

Favorites - Argentina and Brazil. This is South America's turn for winning the tournament and well, Paraguay, Chile and Uruguay will not win a World Cup again in this century. Between the two, Argentina have more of a chance because they're my favorite team and because the team topping the South American qualifying tends to choke up in the finals.

Dark Horse - Nigeria could theoretically reach the semis if they beat France/Mexico and then England. Cote D'Ivoire and Cameroon are better teams and South Africa's the host but they have horrible draws. Cameroon could reach the quarters if they shock Italy but they won't be able to beat Spain/Portugal. I'm not naming a European team since a European team will NOT win the World Cup this time.

Teams I Want To Win/Do Well - Argentina(to win), United States(to do really well). It's actually possible that the two meet in the final. Argentina will be in the final. For USA, they have to top their group (i.e. beat England) and then upset Brazil in the semis but hey, you can always hope...

Matches To Look Forward To In The Group Stage - Mexico vs France (Grp A), Portugal vs Brazil (Grp G), England vs USA (Grp D). Yeah, talk about a fucked up draw.

Ok that's a really big post! Dismiss me, enough!