This post as the title suggests is a bit about the present. With the onset of December comes a weird warm feeling (for me atleast) no matter what the circumstances. This December has been by far my saddest ... being in class 10 under the ICSE examination board, it means that i have an exam to give in less than a month's time and my 'all-important' boards in another three. Normally during the past years, mid-December was spent goofing off at home, making frequent trips to New Market (the old one, just for the feeling ...), eating more than normal, and putting off any academic-related matter for atleast after New Year's Day ... not this year.
This year has been a sort of 'Black Christmas', if you will, for me and I presume most of my batchmates. The enormous syllabi, the burden of doing one project after another (I still have one heavy project left) and Mrs.Niyogi's endless History & Civics extra classes were really the death of us (in a figurative sense of course). And this may sound a little over the top, but life's treating me real bad these couple of weeks. I've done almost nothing other than studying or working on my project over the last couple of days. And the last time I went out of my house (except the to and fro journey to school) was to photocopy civics notes!! I've also come to the point that I've forgotten all the channel numbers on my t.v. ... I remember only today morning switching on my t.v. and just staring at it blankly trying to remember the numbers ...
But there's just something about December, something about the holiday season, that is so inherently happy, that I can't help but smile once or twice without any real reason, even in a time as sad as this. The smell of christmas cake being baked in the local bakery, the hustle and bustle and decorations at New Market, roast meat, and the food preparations ... all create a feeling that is really hard for any sort of sadness to overcome. Maybe that's what's keeping me from getting burned out due to depression or something similar.
And perhaps music is carrying me on ... that's really all i'm doing other than studying for now ... listening to rock ... and learning how to play my guitar ...
It's a really oxymoronic situation ... happy but sad at the same time. This was just a spur of the moment post. Nothing new to come before the 25th.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
